OVER MY DEAD BODY
About 4 years ago it became apparent that my ageing parents could no longer live by themselves unassisted. It came upon my sister and myself, the only surviving siblings of 4, to see to their care. It was decided that they should sell their home and take up residence in a "retirement Village".
The sale of the house went off without a hitch. The selling off of all their possessions was heartbreaking but necessary to downsize from a home to an apartment. We thought we found a reputable retirement community, oddly enough just feet and inches from the location of their original home in White Rock / South Surrey. So we moved them into Whitecliff, an Avenir retirement community, and assumed that they would be well taken care of. $4000/ month for suite, meals, facilities and care when needed. Only a block from the Peace Arch hospital.
Father hatted it, kept demanding to be allowed to go home. At 90 years old he was used to having his own home with a workshop that he could putter around in all day. At the retirement home he did nothing but watch TV all day and get more and more miserable. On top of that he would make Mother miserable. He just wasted away until he died in November of 2009 at age 92
Mother, being of British stock, bore it well and tried to settle into the lifestyle.
I didn't like the place. Too much like an institution. The staff were arrogant, snooty, cold, aloof and treated the residents, who payed their salaries, like cattle. I voiced my concerns on several occasions and was basically told to "tell it to someone who cares". The level of care diminished, the food got worse and I could hear murmurs of discontent among my parents and their neighbours.
After Fathers demise we moved Mother into another retirement village nearby in South Surrey. At first the place seemed much more personable and warm. Mother liked it, Sister liked it and I liked it. But soon a dark cloud settled over The Peninsula, another Avenir retirement community, in the form of the very same manager of the Whitecliff who made that place so unbearable. Now the manager of The Peninsula.
The atmosphere took a 180 degree turn. The staff got colder, The quality of food got worse and the level of care deteriorated. Mother noticed immediately. I felt it from the staff and other residents. Heard it voiced among the patrons in the dining room when I partook of dinner with Mother.
One day i took mother to the local White Rock mall for a shopping trip and we were approached by a lady I recognized as a server from the Whitecliff. The conversation got around to the, then manager of Whitecliff, now manager of The Peninsula. She informed us that ever since he left the atmosphere had improver enormously. She also told us that there weren't many staff members that had any respect for him. All Mother and I could do was nod and agree.
One day I approached the marketing manager at the Peninsula and voiced my concerns. Her response was to tell my that the manager was highly regarded and extremely competent. I ran into the Chef and told him my mother said the meals had depreciated. He contradicted me and said that the menu had improved. Well of course, they were both on the payroll.
The other day, Mar. 7th, I got a distress call from Mother. At 90 she is still lucid and quite aware of what is happening around her. She was really sick and needed help. Where was the resident healthcare specialist? I immediately went out to White Rock only to find Mother in a bad way. With three days worth of meals on the counter, untouched or just nibbled at and her is a sorry state I was mortified. Why hadn't the staff noticed her condition and done something?
See tomorrows Blog for a continuation
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